the suze orman effect
Money has been on my mind.
A little while back the Powerball jackpot was $1 billion. Of course I stood in line. This time it will be me, I could feel it in my bones. Plans were made. Charities identified. Real estate earmarked.
But I didn’t win. Not even one number. Not even close.
The real surprise was how surprised I was. I’m not known for winning things – raffles, lucky dips, fairground games, whatever. The one time my number was called out as the winner was at a company year-end do. Naturally, when that was happening, I was busy backstage helping to get the next performance sorted; and tired of waiting, the MC forfeited my ticket and picked another number. It’s that kind of luck.
So, yes, my optimism was blind, delusional even. Yet there I was, surprised, crestfallen and in despair.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for what I have – healthcare, roof over my head, food on the table, heat in the house, entertainment on TV, Netflix subscription – life could be worse.
In reality, however, the person who makes the money usually has the final (and only) say.
Perhaps the disappointment stemmed from not having had my own money for the last two decades. When people say that marital assets belong to both the husband and wife, it is theoretical and legal. In reality, however, the person who makes the money usually has the final (and only) say. An occasional crumb of appeasement may be thrown one’s way in order to maintain the facade of equality, but it isn’t. If one feels compelled to justify everything one buys, or lets the wage-earner be the final arbiter, then one has no freedom, and no dignity.
It was from this abyss that a couple of nights ago, staying up well past bedtime, and hypnotically flipping channels, Suze Orman entered my life. Now, I’m no stranger to Suze, having been first introduced to her on Oprah, and then seeing her books in the self-help aisle. But this was the first time I watched through her entire programme. At the end of the show, I found myself making that $252 donation to PBS and am eagerly awaiting my gift of the Suze Orman Financial Solutions Combo Pack.
Before you mock me, let me just reassure you that husband has already done it on your behalf. When I told him I was so inspired and empowered by the show I purchased the combo pack, with what could be only described as annoyance, he asked what I spent on it. That immediately made me feel like a foolish child or an elderly person who had been duped by an insurance salesman. Of course I tried to defend my position with “It would have cost more to buy it at the shops”, “This was really a donation to PBS which is a good cause” and so on.
But I’ve made a decision. I won’t be chided. Although my investment in my marriage cannot be measured out in dollars and cents, it must be quantified and qualified through the sacrifices made that helped us be where we are now, and have what we now have. I am reminded of something a friend once said on this topic, that “He gets to do all that he does because you do all that you do.” The logical next step was for me to take care of my future. Because Suze kept reminding me, (and I paraphrase) no-one is going to take care of you, except you. Truer words have never been spoken.
So I’ve abandoned the “how to spend my lottery winnings” plan, and am embarked on the “I’m taking control of my life” plan. It starts with two concurrent first steps: finding work that measures achievements in dollars and cents, and working through the Suze Orman plan.
Wish me luck.